


wake your ghost

by Frostandcoal



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Post-Canon, and of course all of Andrew's thoughts are always about neil, neil and andrew banter in this because i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 12:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11874303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frostandcoal/pseuds/Frostandcoal
Summary: "Kevin’s been obsessed with Riko Moriyama his entire life. It’s going to take more than a bullet to stop that.”The amount of mental energy Kevin has wasted on Riko is like a faucet, and Andrew has yet to see any definitive proof that Kevin’s ready to turn off the pipes.In which Kevin has Complicated Feelings (TM), Neil does not approve, and Andrew does not care. And Andreil!Banter, for it is like crack unto me, and I love them :|





	wake your ghost

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading the extra!content about how post-TKM everyone is mad at Kevin because he's conflicted about Riko's death, except for Andrew. And then I wrote this. Title from "Your Ghost" by Kristin Hersh.
> 
> Also I sort of guessed where in WV Edgar Allan is located, and Google Map'd it to Clemson University, just for this one line about a six hour bus ride :|

 

The news about Riko’s death breaks before the Foxes can even board the bus back to PSU. 

“They’re saying it’s suicide,” says Wymack, flatly. His eyes immediately settle on Kevin. “So that’s what we’re going to say it was, too.” 

Andrew glances over at Neil, who is staring off into the distance, a half-smile curving his mouth. He smiled ten minutes ago, too, when he leaned in close and whispered, “Ichirou executed him. I saw that fucker die.”

If it weren’t for Kevin, Andrew thinks, his teammates might start cheering.

But Kevin. Kevin makes a noise, soft and low, and the look on his face....Andrew wonders if that’s the same look he gave Riko when Riko broke his hand, a trapped animal bleeding out under a hunter’s merciless gaze.

Neil jerks his head toward Kevin, his half-smile turning into a fierce scowl. _Oh, Neil,_ Andrew thinks, fingers unerringly finding his cigarettes and lighter in the pocket of his gear bag. _You are so very, very bad at hiding._

Andrew lights his cigarette, drawing in smoke and breathing it out in Neil’s direction. The cigarette is partly because he wants one and partly to get Neil’s attention, which it does.

Neil looks angry, because Neil does not understand what it’s like to hate someone and love them and not be able to let them go even when you should. 

Neil’s life is all sharp black angles and empty white spaces. There are no shades of gray for Neil Josten, but that is not true for Kevin. 

Or Aaron, who is looking at Andrew as if he’s hearing a different name, a different death, and a different lie.

It’s Allison who breaks the silence. “And here I thought today couldn’t get any better,” she says, like she can’t quite help herself.  Andrew does not like Allison and never will, but he appreciates the sentiment. She’s not wrong.

“Get on the bus,” says Wymack, tightly, moving toward Kevin.

Abby ushers them toward the bus, and Andrew grinds his cigarette out under his boot. His mouth tastes like ash.

***

It’s a six hour drive back to PSU and the Foxes spend it getting drunk, cheering their fool heads off and generally making Andrew want to kill them all.

Even the liquor sucks. Nicky can’t be trusted to get anything good.

Andrew pushes the window down next to his seat and lights a cigarette, waving a hand when Nicky tries to pass him a bottle of Fireball. Neil slides in the seat next to him, looking victorious in a way that makes Andrew hate him. There is no reason a stupid game should matter this much.

Neil nudges him with his shoulder and steals his cigarette. “You got mad when they scored that goal,” he says, and sounds smug. “I saw you hit the wall with your racquet.”

“When we get back,” Andrew says, “You can see me hit _you_ with it.”

“After all that work you did breaking Riko’s arm?” The spill of the highway lights make Neil’s smile look savage, like he’s some arcane _eye for an eye_ law made flesh. He would not appreciate the comparison, but that does not make it any less true.

Andrew shrugs, inhaling the smoke and shaking a cigarette free for Neil. “Next time get to your feet before you run your mouth.”

Neil’s laugh is bright and happy, at odds with the scars and the smile and the tangible satisfaction pouring off him in waves. He takes the cigarette but doesn’t light it, and his attention is drawn away by Matt, who hollers for him to come back to the front and take another shot.

His teammates cheer and act like idiots, and they’re loud and Andrew wants them to shut up, already. But he sits in his seat and smokes his cigarettes, watching Neil and feeling -- if not content, it’s something close.

Today was a victory. He doesn’t need to celebrate to admit that.

***

“I just don’t get him.” Neil is angry, he’s pacing and it’s making Andrew want to stick his foot out and trip him just to make him stop. “What the fuck is he still there for?”

Andrew tracks Neil’s progress back and forth, shoes kicking up the loose gravel on the roof, the sun already too hot to be up here midday. He’s ranting, again, about Kevin being with Wymack in West Virginia.

“Coach said he’s going to stay for the funeral.”

Neil’s face closes down. “That asshole doesn’t deserve a funeral. Or Kevin being there.”

Andrew takes a drag on his cigarette and watches Neil from behind his sunglasses. Riko is dead, and that means he is no longer a problem so Andrew doesn’t spend any time thinking about him. That Kevin does isn’t a surprise, and that Neil is angry about Kevin is also not a surprise.

_I should have pushed them both off the roof when I had a chance._

Neil stalks over and falls down next to him, cross-legged, a pile of lanky, angry limbs and a scowl. “He better get it out of his system before he gets back,” Neil grouses. “If he says one word about goddamn Riko, I’ll probably smother him in his sleep.”

“You won’t,” Andrew says, pushing the cigarettes over to him.

“Oh, you don’t think so?” Neil snaps, all bristling bravado and tilted chin. “Who’s gonna stop me? You? Did Kevin make a new deal with you to save him from Riko’s ghost?”

For fuck’s sake, Neil is so stupid. “It’s not a who, but a what.” He watches Neil light his cigarette and waves a hand. “Stickball. You want to win too badly.”

Neil’s grin is as fierce as his rage. “Right. I might need you to remind me of that.”

Andrew doesn’t dignify that absurdity with a response. 

***

Betsy keeps her office cold in the summer, and Andrew has a suspicion she does it so that she can give him hot chocolate. Truthfully he’d have no problem drinking it without the air conditioning on full blast -- he hates being cold -- but he doesn’t say anything, simply remembers to bring a hoodie and bundle up before he goes into her office, the sleeves curled around his knuckles and the cup grasped between them.

(It’s Neil’s hoodie, because Neil has a tendency to buy his clothes two sizes too large in an attempt to hide...which he then ruins by wearing them on national television to trash-talk people who want to kill him, because Neil.)

“Are you having any particular thoughts about how Kevin is reacting to Riko’s suicide?”

Andrew looks up at her, fingers pressed around the warm mug, wondering if she thinks she’s fooling anyone by calling it a suicide. But that’s the party line they’ve all been instructed to follow and Betsy is, Andrew supposes, included in that. He can’t imagine Wymack or Abby didn’t tell her the truth, but maybe not.

“Why would I?”

“Some of the others have expressed some...disapproval that he’s mourning Riko’s death,” she says. “I was wondering if you felt the same.”

She should really know him better than to ask that, but he’ll play along. “No. But I’m not surprised that Kevin’s acting like this.”

“Why not?”

Andrew shrugs. “Because Kevin’s been obsessed with Riko Moriyama his entire life. It’s going to take more than a bullet to stop that.” The amount of mental energy Kevin has wasted on Riko is like a faucet, and Andrew has yet to see any definitive proof that Kevin’s ready to turn off the pipes.

“Grief is a complex thing,” she says carefully. “And their relationship, while toxic, played a significant role in his life. I think that’s what some of the others are having a hard time understanding.”

Andrew stares at her, bored. “You can spare me the recap, Bee.”

As usual, his tone and his words do absolutely nothing to deter her when she’s trying to make a point, despite whatever roundabout way she uses to get there. “I just thought perhaps that would be something you understand, how sometimes we grieve relationships even when they end, even when they’re not the healthiest.”

He knows she’s talking about Cass, and to some extent, Tilda – but Andrew never grieved Tilda, and Cass never hurt Andrew like Riko hurt Kevin. Bee might argue that wasn’t true, that Cass’s refusal to acknowledge or address Andrew’s self-harming behaviors was a form of abuse – but they are very different things, to Andrew.

“Maybe you’re confusing me with Aaron,” Andrew says. Or Neil, who still mourns his mother even though, to Andrew, she was just as culpable in his abuse as Nathan Wesninski.

“I’m only suggesting that you might be a comfort to Kevin, if you have the experiences that will allow you to sympathize with his grief,” she says, as if Andrew has ever been a comfort to anyone who isn’t a liar with a scarred face and a fake name. “You’re the only one who isn’t angry at him for having these feelings, Andrew.”

“Because I don’t care,” he reiterates, and wonders how many times he’s going to have to say this before anyone believes him. “I leave the forgiveness and compassion shit to Renee.”

“But Kevin is one of yours, isn’t he?”

“Kevin has always been Riko’s,” Andrew says. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?” He thinks about what Neil said, on the rooftop. “And I didn’t make a deal to save him from Riko’s ghost. So, no. Not anymore.”

“Would you make that deal if he asked you?” she asks.

 “Oh, Bee,” Andrew says, shaking his head. “Haven’t you learned by now that I don’t believe in ghosts?”

He has a strange feeling she doesn't believe him. 

***

Andrew is studying for a final when Kevin comes back to the dorm. It’s quiet, the middle of the day, and he looks dull-eyed and wrung-out.

“Hey.”

Andrew doesn’t respond, though he doubts that Kevin expects him to. Kevin sits on his bed, his head in his hands. He looks sober, which is something. But maybe that’s only because it’s two in the afternoon.

“I’ve been staying at Wymack’s,” Kevin says.

“I didn’t ask,” says Andrew, who already knew that anyway.  

Kevin exhales, slowly, and stares off into space. Andrew goes back to studying, but he sees the time and knows that Neil is due back in a few minutes from a study session for his chemistry class. He also knows that Neil has a final tomorrow in said chemistry class, and he may be in danger of failing if he doesn’t score high enough on the test. Failing a class puts his position on the team in jeopardy, which, thanks to his deal with the Moriyamas, puts his life in jeopardy.

Meaning – Neil will take one look at Kevin’s sulky face and red-rimmed eyes, and instead of studying will do something stupid and probably loud that will end with someone getting punched. Andrew stands up and grabs his cigarettes, his wallet and his keys, shoves his phone in his back pocket and throws a few things into a bag for himself and for Neil.

Then he leaves.

He knows Neil’s schedule, but just in case, he sends a text so Neil will know to meet him. Neil can yell at Kevin all he wants after he’s done with his finals.

“Hey,” Neil says, when he sees Andrew leaning against the wall of his classroom building, smoking a cigarette. He has that look on his face, the little pleased one he gets when he sees Andrew, and Andrew hates it as much as he hates everything else about Neil. “This is a surprise.”

“I go to school here, too, Neil,” says Andrew, falling in step beside him.

“You went to a study session?” Neil gives him a dubious look. “Right.”

“You’re not going to get any studying done for this test if you’re in the dorm,” Andrew tells him, which is not a lie, though he does not explain that it is because of Kevin. “You also can’t fail, or your Yakuza buddies are going to make our summer tedious.” That is also true. Andrew will do whatever is necessary to keep Neil safe – whether that is keeping him away from Kevin Day’s misplaced grief, or taking out assassins.

“Um,” says Neil, as if he can’t decide whether or not he should apologize. Andrew cuts a harsh glare at him, until Neil just sort of shrugs and says, “Okay, so…where are we going?”

“Columbia,” says Andrew. He lifts the duffel bag to show he’s packed a few things. “I’ll bring you back tomorrow.”

The problem with Neil is that he is not stupid – at least when it comes to things about other people and not his own personal safety. They are halfway to the Maserati when Neil stops, puts his hands on his hips and hisses, “Andrew.”

“Neil,” says Andrew, and keeps walking.

“He’s back, isn’t he.”

“Chemistry,” Andrew says, still not looking behind him. “Yakuza. Murder. Or, _What Andrew Does on His Summer Vacation._ ”

There’s a muffled curse and then Neil jogs up to fall in step beside him. “This is ridiculous, you can’t just –”

Andrew reaches out and grabs Neil by his t-shirt, pulling Neil sharply toward him. “Watch me.”

Neil glares at him, and Andrew glares right back. They stand there, caught up anger and promises and sheer stubbornness.

Neil’s mouth twitches. “Your version of romance needs some work, Minyard.”

Andrew lets go of his shirt. “Get in the car, Josten.”

***

Neil passes his chemistry class, so Andrew tunes out the fight he has with Kevin about Riko and grief and _we won, Kevin, fuck him –_

They go to the Court, and Andrew lets Neil take his car and doesn’t go with them.

He does, however, say to Kevin, “If he’s bleeding when you get back, you will be, too.”

They’re both a little bruised when they get back, but it’s within acceptable Exy parameters so Andrew lets it go. Kevin goes to sleep without saying a word, and Neil immediately goes to the roof to smoke.

“He’ll get over it,” Neil says, firmly, as if he will ensure that happens surely through the force of his will. “On the court, at least. That’s all that matters.”

“Junkie,” Andrew mutters, and leans over to light his smoke. He doesn’t believe it for a minute.

***

“I hated him,” Kevin says, out of nowhere. “I did. He tried to take everything from me because he was jealous. I hated him, and I cried at his funeral. Why?”

Andrew looks over at him. They’re in Columbia, and it’s Friday night at Eden’s. Aaron and Nicky are dancing, Neil is at the bar, and Andrew looks around at the empty table and says, “Who are you talking to?”

“You,” Kevin says, frowning.

“Why?”

Kevin opens his mouth, then closes it. Then, stiffly, “I need you to know that I – appreciate it. What you did for me. It’s not that I don’t, and I know it might – it might seem like I don’t.”

“You don’t need to appreciate it,” Andrew says, staring up at the ceiling. “The problem is you still don’t understand what it means when I make a promise. I promised to keep you safe from Riko, and I did. Your grief is your own business, and I don’t care. Do you understand? Because I’m not having this conversation again.”

Kevin stares at him for a long second, then nods. He picks up his glass – it’s only his second drink, apparently ghost!Riko calls for a substantially lower blood alcohol content – and nods. “Thanks,” he mumbles into his glass.

Kevin still doesn’t get it, but what can Andrew say? Maybe something like, _I can’t save you from your ghosts,_ but then he sees Neil making his way to the table, thinks about the way Neil still looks for the exits and sizes up any man over thirty-five with suspicious intent, how he knows the exact number of steps from the bedroom to the front door in the Columbia house, in the dorm, how he keeps his keys held like a promise to his chest, how he could run but he doesn’t and how it’s because of Andrew –

He thinks maybe that’s not true, the thing about ghosts. Andrew watches the way the lights break in the empty glasses, and feels Neil’s body next to his, warm and alive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! If you're on Tumblr and want to scream about this series, I am obsessed :| I'm [Frostandcoal](https://frostandcoal.tumblr.com) there as well :D


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